i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
