it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Send help, water and tortillas.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
