The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
