dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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