I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
