I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
