I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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