i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
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