I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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