I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
