Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
