Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
