Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
He keeps bees of course he's weird
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
