Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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