i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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