You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
