Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
