tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Randomize
