ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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