I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
