I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
is wine microwaveable?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
