I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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