I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
