finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize