i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
We are two peas in an std pod
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
