She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize