I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
