I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
i drank out of a bidet.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize