Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
