I'm laying in your front yard are you home
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
