Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
so explain again why im purple
no
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
