I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
