I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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