idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I met the friendliest cop last night
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
