Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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