she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
