I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
