This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Every concussion has its silver lining
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
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