Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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