I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
