Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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