So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Randomize