her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
