My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Randomize
