the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
