i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Panties = found
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
