ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Randomize
