It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Randomize
