I can't breathe out the right side of my face
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I just want to make out with him forever
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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