lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
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