If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize