I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
