I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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