I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
