You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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