1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I'm too high and old for this...
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
