Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
