She announced her abortion via fbk
honey bunches of taint.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
