Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
