can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
